


Perturbed

by torA_amadorE



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angry Clint Barton, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But He Gets Better, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Clint is kind of a dick at first, Deaf Clint Barton, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Clint Barton, Hurt Tony Stark, Love is a complicated thing, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Not MCU compliant, Not MCU interpreted characters, Protective Clint Barton, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, everyone is in pain, tags added as needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:48:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22123594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torA_amadorE/pseuds/torA_amadorE
Summary: Clint’s a Sophomore and still has no clue what major he’s declaring but he’s sure coming to Massachusetts was the best choice he’d ever made.Why?Because it was the place he met Steve Rogers, the handsome, artistic genius of Harvard University. Clint was in love, absolutely, no question about it and he’d planned to make his move at Nats little get together, until some eighteen year old brunet with a motor mouth joined the equation.A whole year of working up his nerve and now everything was for naught. Clint couldn’t hold a candle to the brunet genius in Steve’s eyes, at least, that’s the way it appeared to Clint.Clint’s in love with Steve.Steve’s in love with Tony.And clearly the brunet has eyes for a certain blonde.Why did Tony Stark have to ruin everything?
Relationships: Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Steve Rogers (One-sided), Clint Barton/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes & Clint Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Jean Grey/Logan (X-Men) (One-sided), Jean Grey/Scott Summers, Logan & Wade Wilson & Clint Barton, Peter Parker/Mary Jane Watson, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson (One-sided), Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 9
Kudos: 46
Collections: Assassin Twins + Tony





	1. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint waited too long...
> 
> Tony is very Flirty...
> 
> Clint doesn’t like it...

How the hell could this happen?  
How could a good day, a perfect opportunity, turn into such a shit show?

Clint glared at the fast talking stranger at the other side of the cafe. Steve’s blue eyes were soft and his lips were quirked in that sexy smirk that Clint couldn’t get enough of, and usually Clint would be happy to see the look but not today. No, not when it was aimed at the brunet intruder.

“When the hell did he walk into the equation?” Clint scowled at the duo as he took a sip of his, now cold, hot chocolate. 

“You’ve been out for two weeks, Clint.” Natasha laid her head against his bicep, attempting to soothe the jealous archery student. “Sam brought along that Rhodey guy and Tony tagged along behind like a lost puppy.”

“And what, Steve just fell head over heels at first sight?” Clint scoffed as he pushed his mug away in disgust. 

“Actually, no. They didn’t get along the first couple of times we hung out but, by our third meetup Tony managed to crack through Steve’s steel demeanor.” Natasha answered as she flicked Clint on the nose, earning a small yelp in response. “You should tell him.”

“Yeah?” Clint clicked his tongue as he tapped his fingers on the table. “And what? Get rejected? I mean, c’mon Nat, if he wasn’t interested before, he definitely isn’t interested now... I mean look at the way he’s fawning over that little rich kid.”

“He’s only two years younger than us Clint.” The fiery red head sighed at the blonds depressive attitude. “He’s actually graduating this year, so in a way, we are the kids.”

“Oh great, he’s some kind of genius too.” Clint groaned as he let his head smack against the table with an audible ‘THUNK’. “I don’t stand a chance. I mean, look at them.”

Natasha rolled her eyes before glancing over to where Clint had gestured. It didn’t surprise her to find that, perhaps, Clint was right, maybe things weren’t looking to good for him. Tony sat in the stool next to Steve, his hand laying on the artists bicep, a flirty smirk plastered to his lips as Steve smiled in return. Natasha could see it, she’d be surprised if the whole cafe didn’t see it actually. Steve’s eyes were sparkling and it was almost painful to think that Clint could see the same thing she did.

“Don’t give up hope.” Nat rubbed Clint’s arm. “It’s something new. New things are exciting and I’m su-“

“Awe, don’t give me that bullshit.” Clint grumbled as he lifted his head up, rubbing his forehead. “What was I even thinking? Someone like me never had a chance with Steve. He’s... I mean, look at him.” Clint furrowed his brows and it pained the red head to hear her best friend speaking so little of himself. “I’m not smart like you guys, the only reason I could even get into UMass was because of that Archery scholarship.” Natasha opened her mouth to protest but Clint cut her off with a wave of his hand. “Don’t even deny it. The only thing I’m good at is Archery and I mean, I definitely can’t compete in the looks department with that kid... did you see his eyes? They’re like Sapphires! Steve sure seems to like them.”

“Clint-“

“And the curls, how can I compete with those soft curls?!” Clint exclaimed, ignoring his best friend protests. “And, I mean, the guy is some kind of model, where do people with money get off hogging the looks from the rest of us? I mean, money or looks?! You should only get one! No one should be that hot a-“

“Oh? My ears are burning.” An unfamiliar voice cut Clint off and the blond immediately shut his mouth. “I’m used to compliments but why do yours feel so venomous?”

Clint glanced Natasha’s way only to find her giving him a half hearted shrug.

“I tried to warn you.” Clint groaned as she stood up from her seat. “Why don’t the two of you get acquainted? I’m gonna go find Sam and Rhodey.”

Clint glared at Natasha as she sauntered off. She gave him a sly smile and a curt wave before disappearing to the other side of the cafe.

“So, am I gonna get a name or do I have to suck your dick first?” If Clint had turned his head any faster at Tony’s comment, his neck would have snapped.

“What!?” Clint’s voice came out a little more aggressive than he’d meant it to but he wasn’t going to apologize for it.

“A name?” Clint noticed the small dip in the Genius’ voice that most people probably wouldn’t have paid much mind to but, Clint was especially good at detecting the mood. “I didn’t catch your name earlier.”

Clint probably shouldn’t feel such pride at making the fast talking, flirty asshole a little nervous but, he sure as hell did. Who the hell did this kid think he was, coming over here and saying such shit to him after spending the last hour flirting with Steve?! Talk about a dick move! He kinda wanted to deck the kid, but that would only make Steve sour at him and he didn’t want the center of his affection to be pissed at him.

“That’s because I didn’t give it to you.” Clint glared at the brunet and he couldn’t help but feel smug when he caught the small waver of confidence that flitted across the brunets face before being replaced with a cocky smirk. 

“Well, I do like a challenge.” Tony shot back as he plopped down in Natasha’s now vacant seat. “Fine, Mr. Nameless, what’s with the pathetic look? I mean, why is a guy like you pouting in the corner instead of hitting it off with a few of the ladies here at this gathering?” Tony reached out, latching onto Clint’s abandoned chocolaty beverage. “I have a hard time believing anyone is gonna reject a guy with your...” Tonys eyes slid down his body. “Physique.”

“Yeah, well, not everyone wants to fuck anything that walks on two legs.” Clint spat in return and if the insult stung, Tony sure didn’t show it. 

“That’s fair.” Tony shrugged. “Well then, what’s got you so down?”

“That’s none of your business, is it?”

“I guess not, but I’m getting the feeling that in some way, I’m the cause of it because maybe I’m wrong but...” Tony cocked his eyebrow, as he raised Clint’s cup to his lips, guzzling down what was left of his cold chocolate. “I have a hard time believing you treat everyone you meet with such contempt.”

“You don’t say?” Clint rolled his eyes at him before standing up. “I’m going out for some fresh air, enjoy flirting with every Tom, Dick and Harry in here.”

He heard a small protest from behind him but he ignored it as he stormed out of the cafe, stepping out into the brisk fall air. The sun had already set and he let out a chilled breath as he scanned the empty streets. 

Clint could kick himself. He wasn’t usually petty but there he was, acting like a dick to a stranger all because his crush was giving the guy mushy eyes. 

Had Clint really just become that guy? 

He felt a small pang of guilt at the harsh words he’d spoken before he left and he knew he should probably go apologize. Steve would’ve been so disappointed in him if he’d heard the patronizing words he’d thrown at the teen prodigy but... there was no way he was going to, of course. Nope, Clint might feel a little guilty but there was no way he was gonna take it back. Not only would he feel like a jackass but... the guy kind of deserved it. 

Here he was, leading Steve on with his soft touches and flirty attitude and then waltzing off and seducing every damn person in the vicinity. Steve deserved so much better than that, who the fuck did that guy think he was? Hot MIT genius or not, he was nothing but an asshole playboy and Clint wasn’t going to apologize to a asshat like him.

Clint was so caught up in his own thoughts, he didn’t notice the chime of the door opening or the sounds of foot steps coming up behind him. It wasn’t until the familiar, deep voice of a certain blue eyed blond sounded from behind him that he realized he had company.

“Clint, you okay?” Steve stepped up next to him on the curb, shooting the slightly smaller blonde a concerned glance that made Clint’s chest squeeze.

“Yeah, I- I’m good.” Clint smiled as he glanced into Steve’s baby blues. “Just needed some air is all.”

“Tony told me I should come check on you.” Steve’s expression softened a little as he spoke Tony’s name and Clint felt like throwing up. What the fuck had Tony done to earn Steve’s affections?! It’d only been two weeks?! Clint had been trying to earn Steve’s affections for a whole year! He’d even planned on asking him out tonight before that damned brunet decided to whisk all his chances away. “Said you weren’t looking too good.”

Clint’s throat tightened at the larger man’s words. Steve hadn’t come to check on Clint because he’d noticed something was wrong on his own, but because Tony, of all people, had sent him out and that... that was like a bullet to the heart.

Why wasn’t Clint good enough? 

What was so amazing about Tony? 

Why couldn’t it be Clint?

“Yeah, well I’m fine.” Clint swallowed, attempting to loosen the sudden tensing of his throat. “No need to worry about me, just a small headache from the noise is all.”

“Alright, well, come join us when you’re ready.” Steve smiled. “Tony signed us up for trivia and we’ll get free pizza if we win.”

Clint gave a curt nod in response before Steve turned and headed back inside. Clint stood outside for a few more moments, debating whether or not he was even willing to head back inside before pulling out his cellphone. He pulled up Natasha’s contact, shooting her a quick message.

_To: Nat_   
_From: Clint_   
_‘I’m gonna head home. Break the news to the gang for me, will ya?’_

Clint pocketed his phone before Natasha had a chance to try and talk him into staying. His attitude would only ruin their night and he couldn’t trust himself not to say anymore harsh words to Tony. He pulled out his keys and climbed into his old, beat up corolla. The engine sputtered to life and he quickly pulled out of the parking lot, starting his near two hour drive back to his dorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please ignore or point out typos...


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha is just trying to be a good bro...
> 
> Logan is a dick for a reason...
> 
> Wade is... Wade...

Clint didn’t even bother brushing his teeth before collapsing on his bed and falling asleep.

Upon waking up he found he regretted that choice. His mouth felt hot and gritty and he couldn’t help but blame the hot chocolate. 

“Yuck.” Clint groaned as he pulled himself out of bed. He grabbed a clean outfit and headed into the bathroom for a shower and a good mouth scrubbing before beginning his day.

After freshening up, Clint pulled his phone out of his dirty jean pocket to find he had seven missed calls and four text messages. The calls were all from Natasha. He deleted the notifications and opened up his message box. He’d expected to find a ton of angry messages from his best friend but he found that only one of them were actually from her.

_From: Nat_   
_To: Clint_   
_‘You should stay. Don’t let this ruin your whole night.’_

Clint decided to shoot her a quick message before checking on the others. 

_To: Nat_   
_From: Clint_   
_‘I’m good Nat, don’t worry about it. We both already knew it’d probably never work out, just needed to get out of there. Sorry for bailing. Coffee later?’_

After closing out of her texts, Clint peaked at his other messages to find an unknown number in his inbox. Curious, he opened the messages to find himself scowling at his screen, cursing his best friend.

_From: *(***)***-****_   
_To: Clint_   
_‘Hey, your fiery red head friend gave me your number.’_   
_‘You probably don’t want my messages but I kinda...’_   
_‘Sorry for... whatever I did to piss you off. I tend to have that affect on people.’_

Clint rolled his eyes at the shitty apology. The guy didn’t even know what he did wrong and that kind of pissed Clint off even more. What a fucking tool.

_To: *(***)***-****_   
_From: Clint_   
_‘The fact that you don’t even know what you did makes you a huge tool. Drop my number.’_

Clint let out an annoyed grunt when his phone chimed.

_From:*(***)***-****_   
_To: Clint_   
_‘I’m really bad at apologies. I really am sorry though.’_   
_‘’Maybe if you clarified what I did it’d help?’_

_To: *(***)***-****_   
_From: Clint_   
_‘Get lost.’_

Before he could receive another message, Clint blocked Tony’s number. He really did not have the time to deal with that asshole and honestly, he didn’t want the guys shitty apology. If the guy couldn’t figure out what was wrong by himself, he wasn’t gonna give the guy the luxury of telling him. 

Clint checked his social media before grabbing his keys and heading for his dorm door. His roommate was still fast asleep in bed and he didn’t have any classes until noon so going out for breakfast sounded like a good idea, he’d skipped dinner after all.

***

“What’s got your panties in a bunch?” Logan cocked his brow as he sat on the other side of Clint’s table, Wade following suit. “Get dumped by pretty blues?”

“Shut up, Logan.” Clint snapped in return. “It’s too early for your shit.”

“Oh, I’m sensing a bit of rejection.” Wade chimed in, his hood pulled up over his face. “Mr. perfect didn’t actually reject your sexy ass, did he?”

“Just drop it, please.”

“Ouch.” Logan hissed in sympathy. “That’s gotta hurt. Was there at least a reason?”

“If your don’t shut up, I’m gonna use you as my next target practice dummy.”

“Oh, so it was another dame, huh?” Wade said, his tone changing to one of sympathy. “Been there. It really sucks, sorry man.”

“Shit, really?” Logan cocked his brow. “I thought he wasn’t into anyone.”

“Well, things change, huh?” Clint finally sighed, giving into his nosy friends persistence. “Stupid genius brunet from MIT suddenly pops in and his heart sails off.”

“Shit, MIT?” Wade clicked his tongue. “That’s gotta be rough competition.”

“No competition, the guys fucking good looking too, has the looks and smarts and fucking money and I got...” Clint trailed as he narrowed his eyes at his half finished waffle. “The guys a fucking tool too. Spent a good hour flirting and touching Steve and then had the nerve to saunter my way and bat his fucking lashes at me!”

“So, he’s a playboy?” Logan furrowed his brows in dismay. “Why would your lover boy be interested in an asshole like that?”

“Because he sees the best in people.” Clint responded.

“Or, he’s a fucking idiot.” Logan rolled his eyes. “Seriously man, what is with you and your pussy attitude toward this fucking guy? Tell him you’re fucking into him or let the dickhead fuck off into a relationship where he’s going to get cheated on.”

“Woah woah, wolvy, that’s a little harsh my little munchkin.” Wade cut in, trying to keep the peace. “Our baby archer is in pain, let’s cut him some slack.”

“Fuck that.” Logan snapped, looking at Clint with a determined look in his eyes. “Fucking man up, Barton. Tell the damn blond moron you like him and fucking get dicked or dumped. Stop pussy footing around.”

“Fuck you, Logan.” Clint snapped as he stood up from his spot. “You’re one to talk, you’re hung up on Jean and there’s never gonna be a day she chooses you over Summers so how about you take your own damn advice.” And with that Clint tossed his leftovers into the trash can and stomped off, leaving behind his two asshole friends.

Who were they to judge him? 

Logan’s in a love triangle that was less a triangle and more a fucking useless one sided crush and Wade had a thing for some photographer a year younger than them that didn’t even know his fucking name. If he was pathetic, so were they, dammit.

***

Clint could barely focus in his psychology class. Professor Xavier wasn’t a bad teacher, he was actually pretty interesting, and usually Clint would be listening intently to the lecture but he just had way too much on his mind. Natasha had texted just before the lecture had began and they were currently in a stale mate. Natasha was arguing that Clint should join them at Bucky and Steve’s apartment for the group get together at six after his classes, but Clint wasn’t sure he was up for it. He’d asked who would be there and Natasha claimed not to know, which he knew was complete bullshit, she always knew.

_From: Nat_   
_To: Clint_   
_‘I told you, I really don’t know who all is gonna be coming.’_

_To: Nat_   
_From: Clint_   
_‘Yeah, and I don’t know the size of my own dick.’_

_From: Nat_   
_To: Clint_   
_‘Okay, first, do guys seriously measure their own dicks for fun?’_   
_‘Two, are you seriously going to bail everytime Tony shows up?’_   
_‘Because if so, I don’t know if we will ever see you again.’_

_To: Nat_   
_From: Clint_   
_‘Why’d you even give that tool my number?’_   
_‘Why would you do that to me?’_

_From: Nat_   
_To: Clint_   
_‘He asked and really, Clint, he’s not that bad of a guy.’_   
_‘You really should give him a chance.’_   
_‘He seemed really guilty for making you run off last night.’_

_To: Nat_   
_From: Clint_   
_‘Yeah, I’m sure he did.’_   
_‘What does it even matter if I like the guy or not?’_   
_‘It’s not like it’s necessary for me to show up to our hangout sessions anyways. Not like anyone noticed I was out of state for two weeks. They replaced me pretty quickly with the prodigy child.’_

_From: Nat_   
_To: Clint_   
_‘Oh, c’mon, Clint. Don’t take that out on us.’_   
_‘You know nobody was replacing you and it’s not our fault Steve’s got a crush on Tony.’_   
_‘Seriously, stop acting like a jealous girlfriend.’_

_To: Nat_   
_From: Clint_   
_‘Fuck you, Nat. I don’t wanna hangout tonight and stop giving my number out to people without asking.’_   
_‘Seriously, I thought we went over this last semester when you gave my number to Bobbi and things went over pretty badly.’_

_From: Nat_   
_To: Clint_   
_‘Okay, I won’t give your number out, but in my defense I know Tony and he’s no stalker.’_   
_‘Just come tonight.’_

_To: Nat_   
_From: Clint_   
_‘No, he’s just an asshole.’_

_From: Nat_   
_To: Clint_   
_‘You know what?’_   
_‘Be ready at three thirty, I’ll be there to pick you up.’_   
_‘Don’t bother texting back a retort because it doesn’t matter what you say, I’m coming and you know you won’t let me drive two hours for nothing.’_   
_‘You’re also gonna stay the weekend. No if, ands, or buts. See you at three thirty.’_

_To: Nat_   
_From: Clint_   
_‘Nat, I don’t want to.’_   
_‘Nat?’_   
_‘Nat, Seriously!’_   
_‘...’_   
_‘Fuck You.’_

Clint huffed in annoyance as he locked his phone. It pissed him off how persistent and pushy his best friend was and it pissed him off even more that she was right. He wouldn’t let her drive two hours just to turn around and drive home empty handed, and she knew since it was Friday she could pick him up and force him to stay the weekend at her dorm. Clint loved Natasha, really, he did, but sometimes he also really fucking hated her.

Before he knew it his classes were over and he was standing outside the dorm building waiting for Natasha’s old, mocha colored Chevy to pull into the parking lot. After waiting for a good ten minutes he was getting a little antsy and by the time the clock hit three fifty he was yanking his phone out of his pocket to call the deadly red head.

‘Hello?’

‘Nat, where are you?’

‘I knew you’d be waiting.’ Clint could hear the triumphant glee in her voice.

‘Yeah, Yeah, where are you? I’ve been sitting out here for twenty minutes already.’

‘I’m actually not coming. Steve needed help cleaning his apartment because Buckys at work and he doesn’t want his apartment to look smaller and crummier than it already is.’

‘So I’ve been sitting out here for nothing.’ Somehow Clint felt a little hurt, even if he hadn’t wanted to go in the first place. ‘Could’ve called and cancelled, Nat.’

‘Oh no, someone’s still coming to get you.’

‘What? The rest of the guys don’t have cars.’ Clint furrowed his brows in confusion. ‘Wait, did Sams engine get fixed?’

‘Nope.’ Natasha popped the P.

‘Then who?’

‘I’m not gonna tell you so you can yell at me.’ She answered, which only confused Clint even more.

‘Why would I...’ He trailed before realization struck. ‘You didn’t.’

‘Whoops, gotta go.’

‘Nat, please tell me you didn’t!’

‘See you when you get here, Clint.’  
‘Nat!’

Clint’s words were met with the buzzing tone of a dead phone line. He pulled his phone away from his ear to find that his best friend had, in fact, hung up and he was beyond pissed off. 

How could she even think sending that prick was a good idea? Was she trying to make him snap? Who tortures their best friend that way? First his number and now a two hour car ride?! What the fuck Nat?!

Clint had half a mind to march back up to his dorm room, lock the door, and ignore any and all contact for the rest of the day. It’d serve Tony right and maybe the asshole would get the hint and stop trying. Clint really liked the idea of just going back to his dorm but, he couldn’t stoop that low. Natasha would be pissed when she found and Steve, he didn’t even want to think about how upset Steve would be with him, so Clint waited. 

He waited that extra couple minutes and just as the clock hit four, A beautiful, sleek, silver Tesla Roadster pulled into the parking lot and Clint simultaneously felt impressed but also resentful. 

How did guys like Tony get to be so lucky? What had he done in his past life to deserve the riches he received in this one? 

Clint must’ve been a little shit in his past life.

Tony pulled up to the curb and rolled down the window as he shot the archer his signature cocky smile. Clint rolled his eyes as he stepped up to the door.

“I’m here to pick up a Mr. Clint Barton.” Tony teased, as if the hatred Clint had for the rich genius wasn’t noticeable. 

“This is going to be the longest drive of my life.” Clint mumbled as he climbed into the passenger seat of Tony’s car.

As much as Clint loved being in a car of such luxury, the very fact that he had to sit with Tony for two hours straight ruined the excitement. Clint let out a pained sigh as he buckled his seatbelt. Tony flipped on his stereo and his speakers burst to life with AC/DC’s ‘Highway to Hell’ and if that wasn’t symbolism, Clint didn’t know what was.

At least Tony had a decent taste in music.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint is kind of an ass...
> 
> Tony is a pure innocent lovable bean...
> 
> Panic attacks honestly suck...

The first half hour of their drive was completely silent and Clint couldn’t even begin to describe just how awkward it was. He’d thought there couldn’t possibly be anything worse than sitting in the same car as Tony but, he was wrong, of course. Sitting in the car with the brunet as he peaked over at Clint every few moments thinking the blond didn’t see him, that was way worse. 

Not only did it make Clint feel self conscious but it also was really grating on his nerves. Was there something on the side of his face?! What was so interesting about him that Tony had to keep peaking over?!

“What?!” Clint slapped the radio dial, silencing the loud rock music as he twisted in his seat to face the genius. 

“Huh?” Tony’s eyebrows rose and if Clint could see past the genius’ glasses, he was sure he’d find his eyes widened in surprised confusion. “What?”

“What do you want from me?!” Clint huffed as he struggled to calm his heated attitude. “Why do you keep glancing at me like that? If you have something to say, just fucking say it.”

“I thought you didn’t wanna talk.” Tony spoke, his voice a bit softer. “I was trying to respect yo-“

“Since when do you respect anyone?!” Clint snapped as he narrowed his eyes at the brunet. “As far as I can tell, you lack respect!”

“I don’t... you don’t even know me.” Tony’s voice was even but Clint could hear the sudden sharp edge to his words. “What’s your problem with me anyways? Is it because my family? Maybe because you don’t like war? Or maybe because I have money?” Tony tightened his grip on the leather steering wheel. “I can’t think of any other reason. Did I bang your sister or something?”

“I don’t even have a sister.” Clint grumbled as he turned back around to face the road. “But that would be one of your worries, you fucking playboy.”

The car fell into a short moment of silence before Tony spoke up once again.

“Is that it?” Tony’s voice seemed even more sharp and suddenly the car jerked to the right as Tony parked along the side of the road. “You want an easy piece of ass? Maybe you’re on a bit of a drought and you’re pissed because I’m drowning in bitches?” Clint rolled his eyes at his assumptions before he felt his heart give a heavy thump. “Or maybe I fucked your crush?”

Clint clenched his jaw at his words and Tony cocked an eyebrow behind his frames. 

“Oh, so that’s it?” Tony let a smug smirk fall on his lips and Clint gave him a side-eyed glare. “You’re pissy because I got my hands on your crush before you did?” Tony barked out a laugh. “Wow, it’s grade school all ov-“

Clint snapped.

He knew riding with Tony was a bad idea. He should’ve just let the guy return back to Steve’s empty handed. Natasha’s scolding and Steve’s sour mood had to be better than this. Anything was better than the damage he’d just brought on Tony. The damage he just brought on himself.

Tony’s glasses were askew and Clint could see the unsettling look in the younger man’s eyes as he pressed his forearm over his throat. Tony’s head slammed against the window with a loud ‘THUNK’ when Clint lunged over the middle compartment, shoving the smaller male backwards.

Clint hadn’t meant to. 

He honestly hadn’t meant to hurt the younger man, at least, not physically. Clint was not that kind of person, the only time he had ever raised a hand to anyone was when they were bullying someone else or when they threatened something he loved. 

This... this was none of those things. 

Yeah, Tony had been egging him on in a way but... he wasn’t threatening anything. Clint didn’t have a good, solid reason for what he just did and that thought... it scared him.

Clint’s stomach rolled at the look in Tony’s eyes. The genius was attempting to hide it, and maybe it’d fool someone a little less observant but... Clint had seen that look a million times, had made it a million times. 

Tony was scared.

Scared of Clint.

Clint knew that look because he too was afraid of himself. Afraid of his temper, afraid of the anger that lay deep inside, ready to bubble to the surface and ooze our like a thick sludge and consume him while. The same anger he’d been on the receiving end of far too many times to count. 

Clint pulled back, away from Tony as if the mere look the brunet was throwing him were like acid to his skin. And it was. The look burned his chest, charred his insides like a raging inferno and the smoke clogged his lungs, just like it did back then... just like it did all those years ago.

He didn’t remember climbing out of the car but before he knew it he was sitting on the side of the road, his head tucked between his knees as he struggled to catch his breath.

He had lashed out in anger. 

The same anger he had been trying so hard to control.

So many therapists.

So many sessions and confessions and yet...

He had caused that look of fear in Tony’s eyes. 

He had let that feeling overtake him, just like _him_.  
  
Clint’s chest ached and he could feel the cold nipping at his skin. His arms shook and whether it was from the chilling breeze or uncontrollable panic that bubbles beneath his skin, he wasn’t sure. All he was sure of was that he’d attacked Tony. 

He’d let the beast within win.

Sure it was only once, and sure he’d barely done any damage but... even the small battles counted, and Clint had lost. 

Clint wanted to scream but he couldn’t get his voice to work and his throat constricted painfully. Clint wasn’t like that. Clint didn’t hurt people out of nothing but rage. Clint could control it... except, he hadn’t. Clint had lashed out just like... 

Just like his father.

The thought made bile rise up in his throat and his attempts to swallow it down were futile. 

Just the thought that Clint were becoming just like his old man made him heave up his lunch, or what little bit of lunch he’d had that day. 

Clint couldn’t become him.

Clint wouldn’t, right?

He wouldn’t hurt people just because he could!

Except he had.

Clint had done just that.

Clint was becoming just like his father and that...

That thought scared him more than anything.

Suddenly Clint felt a pair of arms wrap around his shoulders. He felt his muscles tense before a hand began to rub circles between his shoulder, a soft touch to sooth him. A light whisper telling him everything was okay.

That he was okay. 

Sapphire tinted eyes latched onto his pale blues as the voice directed him to breath in slow intervals. A feather touch to his cheek brought Clint back to level ground and his mind began to slow.

The hazy feeling slowly dissipated and Clint registered the soft, comforting voice and deep blues as Tony’s and god was that a laugh. The guy who he’d attacked, the reason for his break down was the source of his comfort. Clint breathed out a shaky self deprecating laugh as he finally regained some small piece of composure.

“You okay?” Tony asked and Clint was surprised at the raw concern he found in the opposites eyes. “Is it over?”

“Yeah.” Clint croaked, his throat dry as he turned his eyes toward the ground in shame. “I’m good, it’s good.”

Here Tony was, comforting the dick head who attacked him. 

Why would he waste his time doing that? 

Clint had been nothing but an asshole since they met, so why the hell would Tony take the time out of his day to comfort him? 

He should’ve just kept driving.

Should’ve just left Clint there on the side of the road like the trash he was.

“Good.” Tony smiled, relief spilling over his features. “It’s kinda chilly out here, let’s get back in the car. Yeah?”

And that look of relief took Clints breath away.

What person in their right mind worried over an asshat like Clint Barton?

Their friends maybe, but Tony? Clint had nothing but treat him like garbage.

And yet... here he was, extending his hand to help Clint up and that bewildered the archer.

Clint took a moment to clear his head before giving the brunet a jerky nod. He carefully took Tony’s hand as he climbed to his feet and the pair made their way back to the heated interior of Tony’s Tesla. 

Clint warmed his hands in front of the small heaters as he waited with bated breath for the brunet to speak, but he didn’t. He sat silently, as if waiting for Clint to decide when the right time to talk was and Clint couldn’t decide if it relieved him or pissed him off.

Why did Tony have to make hating him so difficult?

“I- sorry.” The apology was shit, Clint knew that and he also knew he didn’t deserve forgiveness. Tony apparently wasn’t as big an asshole as Clint had originally thought because... if he was, he would have just drove off and left Clint to panic in the brisk wind of Massachusetts autumn. “Why?”

Tony cocked his head in confusion, as if he didn’t quite understand what Clint was asking. The blond really didn’t want to elaborate but he pushed through it and opened his mouth anyway, only to be cut off by said brunet.

“I’m not a complete ass.” Tony snorted. “You’d have froze to death, it’s almost December dude.” Clint rubbed his shaky hands together in front of the heater. “Plus, I know what it’s like to have a panic attack and I’d have to be some piece of work to leave you out there like that. I might be shitty, like you continually imply, but I would never stoop to that level of shitty.”

Clint breathed out a heavy sigh as he leaned back into the leather seat. He let his head fall back against the headrest as he turned his neck to get a good look at the younger man. Tony hadn’t taken the time to slide his glasses back over his face and Clint couldn’t help but notice how tired the brunet looked.

The bags under his eyes signaled a lack of sleep and Clint could tell by the way his shoulders slumped that the brunet was feeling rough, despite how he presented himself to everyone else.

“Can-“ Clint licked his lips as he spoke. “Can we stop at the next restaurant and grab a bite to eat?”

Tony let out a surprised laugh as a small, relieved smile played on his lips. Clint noticed this smile was a lot different than his cocky smirks, and he couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for the young genius engineer. The idea that Clint just speaking to him without malice had been what caused that smile was an idea that unsettled Clint in all the wrong ways. Maybe Tony’s life wasn’t as perfect as Clint had thought. 

How often was Tony having panic attacks?

“Yeah.” Tony breathed as he turned his keys in the ignition, the engine purring to life. “Food sounds good.”

Clint let his eyes slide close as Tony pulled back onto the road, joining the traffic that was rush hour. They’d wasted a good thirty minutes on their little stop and Natasha was probably gonna blow up his phone wondering what was taking them so long when they were late but Clint couldn’t bring himself to care. He just wanted something to wet his dry throat and a good burger in his stomach, everything else could fuck itself. 

Well... everything except Tony of course, he owed Tony a real apology and an explanation, even if it was embarrassing and painful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls excuse or point out typos...


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confession time...
> 
> Poor Tony...
> 
> Doesn’t he know he’s gorgeous?

Clint took a sip from the opaque straw that was carefully placed inside his glass of Vanilla Coke. He and Tony had already ordered and now that they were sitting face to face, communication seemed even more awkward than it had in the car post-panic attack. Tony fiddled with his napkin as they waited for their orders to arrive, and Clint didn’t blame him for feeling nervous and awkward. 

Who wouldn’t feel that way after basically being attacked in their own car?

He definitely owed the younger man an apology, an apology which required him to talk and maybe also provide an explanation as his shitty attitude toward the younger male. Yeah, an apology was something Clint wasn’t so good at, never had been, and he wasn’t sure what kind of apology he should give. There wasn’t really a good way of saying ‘sorry I was such a tool and then proceeded slammed your head into a window because I was being a jealous prick.’

He furrowed his brows in frustration as he watched the little bubbles fizz in his soda. His head was starting to hurt and if Natasha was here, she’d definitely tease him for overthinking things. Suddenly he could hear his best friends voice in the back of his mind.

‘Say something, идиот. Anything is better than nothing. Don’t be such a jackass about it.’

She was right, of course. Natasha was always right, even if it wasn’t really her talking. Clint let out a puff of air and took another sip of his coke before finally working up his nerve to talk.

“I’m really sorry.” Clint’s voice seemed to startle Tony out of his thoughts, the smaller man tensing as his eyes darted upward to meet Clints own faded blues. “For being an ass and... ya know, the whole attacking you thing too.” Clint swallowed as he continued. “I um, I’m not... I don’t- damnit.” 

Clint let out an annoyed puff of air as he shook his head. What kind of idiot can’t even apologize? He lifted his hand ran it through his hair before sucking in another breath, determined to give the poor guy a better apology than that shit pot he just nudged over the table.

Tony at least deserved actual, coherent sentences.

“You... had every right to leave me sitting on the side of the road. I’ve been nothing but an ass to you and then I fucking... I just, I was so caught up in my own self pity that I really didn’t wanna believe you could be a decent guy, which actually makes me the shitty one, huh?” Clint gave an airy, self deprecating chuckle. “Natasha was right, I shouldn’t have judged you the way I did. I’m such a dick and I’m really sorry and I just... I was jealous and that’s a shitty excuse but it’s true and I took it out on you.”

“Jealous?” Tony replied as a small, playful smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth. “My money? My looks? My charming personality?”

“Yeah, maybe those were factors too.” Tony’s eyes widened slightly in surprise but Clint pushed on because he needed to be honest, if not for Tony, for himself. “But actually it was mainly because of Steve.”

“Steve?” Tony tilted his head, confusion filled his eyes as he furrowed his brows at Clint’s words. “What about Steve?”

“It’s obvious he likes you and I... you were right about the whole crush thing.” Clint sighed as he swirled his straw around in his coke. “I’ve been working up to ask him out for a whole year and then you swooped in and knocked him off his feet in a matter of two weeks and I just... it wasn’t fair, ya know?” 

And god did that sound more childish saying it out loud? 

Fair?

Life isn’t fair, Clint. 

Now he just felt like a petty two year old.

Clint shook those thoughts out of his head as he glanced down at his shaking hands, clasping them together. He sucked in a breath of air between his teeth, contemplating his next words before opening his mouth again.

“But... it wasn’t right to take that out on you. It’s not your fault you’re smart and hot and charming and perfect. I was trying to make you out to be this evil bastard playing with other people’s feelings but you’re not and I guess that’s what Natasha was trying to tell me and dammit. I really am an envious bastard.” Clint chuckled at his own expense before turning his eyes back to Tony.

“You actually- I’m not- what?” Tony squeaked and Clint swallowed now feeling nervous.

What had Clint said to make Tony feel so uncomfortable? Was it Steve? Was Tony feeling shy? It was it because Clint had outright stated his interest in Steve? Was Tony Homophobic?

At that, Clint felt a little less confident in his confession. It spoke volumes about how naive he was that Clint hadn’t thought through that part of confession. How did he just assume Tony was gay? Or even that he was accepting of it? There were always those assholes out there who couldn’t accept differentiations and he didn’t have to sit here and deal with the looks of disgusts that the brunet was gonna shot his way now.

Clint began to slide out of the booth but before he could stand up Tony’s arm darted out, latching onto his arm as a look of panic played over his features. Clint felt his stomach turn as he waited for Tony to gather his thought, searching for that shift from confused to revulsion. It felt like hours had passed before Tony spoke again.

“You... I’m not perfect...” The hurt that Clint could see in Tony’s eyes made his chest squeeze and he quickly pulled his arm out of the Brunets grasp.

The words surprised Clint and when he finally processed the meaning, it made him feel like crap all over again. 

Why did he keep assuming the worst? Jeese, when did Clint become such an asshole?

Clint shook himself out of his thoughts. Now was not the time for him to self-reflect, not while Tony seemed to be having a meltdown of his own.

Clint noticed that the genius’ panic seemed to increase in their silence his mouth opening and shutting repetitively, as if he were floundering for words. A look of surprise crossed his face as Clint walked to the other side of the booth, nudging Tony over as he took a seat next to him. He could see the panic turn to confusion and relief as he leaned against Tony’s side, increasing their contact. Clint found out a long time ago that it helped calm his nerves when Natasha held him. He didn’t have a close bond with Tony but he could guess that the touch was a bit reassuring at the way the younger male seemed to relax next to him.

“What’s with you? From what I’ve come to understand, you’re just about damn perfect. Who in their right mind would disagree?” Clint attempted a smile and quickly continued when he noticed the brunet open his mouth to retort. “I mean, you’re gorgeous, witty, and, though I haven’t seen your brain in action, you’re graduating MIT at eighteen so you’ve gotta be a fuckin’ genius.” Clint felt a puff of air against his shoulder, as if Tony were failing to hold in a small chuckle. “I’m an asshole. You? You’re not so bad.”

“Yeah?” Tony smiled at Clint, his eyes crinkling in a way that made Clint’s breath catch, which no. 

Bad Clint. 

No hitting on Tony.

Remember Steve.

Remember how big of an ass you were. 

Just because he has the prettiest big blue eyes... 

Nope!

Bad Clint, down boy!

“Yeah.” Clint nodded, pushing aside his sudden inner turmoil from his out of wack hormones. “I’m really sorry I’m such a dick. I’m a jealous prick and you shouldn’t even waste your time talking to me, honestly. I can see why Steve likes you and if you’re the one I lose out on Steve to...” Clint sighed in acceptance. “I guess, I can accept that.”

The two sat in somewhat comfortable silence as Tony let Clint’s words sink in. Their silence dragged through the delivery of their food and halfway through their meal. 

Clint hadn’t bothered to move back to the other side of the table, mainly for fear that Tony would think he was trying to escape or something. Instead he opted pulled his coke over their way. It wasn’t until he only had a few bites of his BLT left that Tony finally decided to speak up.

“I... I don’t like Steve.” 

Clint let his words sink in. It sure didn’t seem that way to Clint but then again, he seemed to be a bad judge of character.

“You don’t?” Clint asked, maybe a bit hopefully. 

“No, not in that way anyways.” Tony wiped his mouth with a napkin as he continued. “I mean, he’s hot and is a great guy and all but... he’s not really- I’m into more- I just don’t feel that way about him, I guess?”

“Oh.” Clint felt relief flood through him at Tony’s words. “That’s... okay, that’s good. I mean, if that’s- yeah, okay.”

“So... are we bonding or?” Tony cocked an eyebrow at Clint as the blond finished off his sandwich. “Can I consider this friendship or is this a one time thing?”

“Hmm...” Clint hummed as he took a final sip of his coke. “I guess we can be pals, as long as you’ll have me and forgive me for what happened on this trip.”

“Nothing to forgive.” Tony snorted as he took a gulp of his soda, and Clint wanted to argue back that there was something to forgive but he decided he’d not look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Alright then, buddy, let’s get this show on the road or Natasha’s gonna have our heads.” Clint chuckled as he slipped his jacket back over his shoulders.

“Right.” Tony nodded as he followed suit. “I’m gonna head out to the car, since you won’t let me pay.”

“Yeah yeah, Mr. Moneybags.” Clint nodded, rolling his eyes as he headed toward the register. “I’ll meet you out there.”

They had bickered over who would pay the bill during the car ride for a good ten minutes before Tony relented. Though he had managed to get Clint to agree to allow him to pay for the next meal or activity they happened to do together. Clint wasn’t sure when that would be, if ever, but he gave in when Tony said it was only to keep them even. Clint really didn’t like handouts and he especially didn’t like feeling like he was on unequal footing with friends.

He watched the door swing shut behind Tony as the hostess stepped toward the counter, a soft smile on her lips. He handed her his card to pay and she quickly rung him out.

“You’re a cute couple.” Her words made Clints eyes widen in surprise.

He hadn’t thought they’d looked that way but leave it up to him to send the wrong vibes.

“Oh no, we aren’t...” he trailed as he let out a nervous chuckle. “We just met yesterday...”

“Oh. I’m sorry, I just assumed with the way you both interacted that...” She giggled as she handed him back his card. “Good luck with that, then.”

She gave him a wink as he turned to leave, which only made Clint internally groan. 

Why did these things happen to him?

He gave the hostess a small unsure smile before turning for the glass doors. There was no use correcting her assumption, it wasn’t like it mattered what she thought anyways. Let the nosy be the nosy, that’s what his mom always said. 

“Thanks.” He called back as he pushed the glass door open, stepping out into the brisk air.

He spotted Tony across the lot, leaning against the trunk of the car. His parka was pulled close, his hair whipping about messily in the breeze as he stared down at his phone screen in concentration. Clint pushed away the strange feeling he got in his chest at the sight because, sure Tony was attractive, but Clint barely knew him and he definitely didn’t like him. 

Nope.

It was just the Hostess’ words getting to him. 

He liked Steve.

‘Yeah, right, Steve. Don’t forget Steve.’ Natasha’s voice droned in the back of his mind. ‘Because that’s working out so well, huh?’

Clint shook his head, willing the voice of his best friend be gone. He didn’t need her input anyway. If he wanted her advice he’d just call her up, and he hadn’t so, why does she get to give it anyways? He surely didn’t have to listen to it. Her stupid opinion was wrong anyhow, real or imaginary.

Right?

Clint groaned when Tony looked up and smiled at him, because that only fueled the annoying, inner voice even more. 

He’d only known Tony one damn day...

And already he had a feeling his life was about to get a lot more complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse or point out typos...
> 
> I plan to update Hulking fervor tm... SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO POST OMG. I have chapters written out but I go back through and hate them and then either rewrite or edit and then just end up not wanting to post it because I hate it and ugh...
> 
> But here it is, Chapter Four!

**Author's Note:**

> Please ignore or point out typos...


End file.
